Wednesday, November 30, 2011

...not a very nice person

I am not a very nice person today. I am moody, unpredictable and crabby.

When everybody in the world is showering good wishes on me.

Why is this so?

I had built up a hype for this day and just a few days before, let all the air out and decided to retreat within that nice quiet space which nobody likes except me. Why did I do it? I dont know. I just go there sometimes and its really nice and peaceful if people would just let me be!

And in this frame of mind the big day started..I know, age is just a number, but so are revenue and sales and profitability. We chase these numbers all our lives. I think its nice to acknowledge the number that is age and be grateful for the fact that one made it there.

How did it start and how has it been going?

The midnight call and song from Tutuda and Rinti..Nice
The lovely card from Shona ...nicer
Shona grumbling about my non cooperation movement...hmmmm
Shona consoling himself counting off the things he did manage to give me Swaroski bracelet etc etc..not very nice Shona like that guy who nearly married Kareena in 3 Idiots and I know you are not that person!:)
6 a.m call from Nahida and my not finding the phone in the bedroom and then missing the phone on my cell phone as well! Drat it Nahida! Why does this always happen? I guess you call in your time more than mine! There there...I'm being nasty ....not very nice
Yes predictable no not boring but yes infuriating. How nice if that was a ring on the doorbell and it would be you wearing your million dollar smile? hmmmm
Album posted by Rinti. Nice and predictable. Had excepted some verbiage there but what could she say?
No surprises from Rati as well....call from her quite a nice short call nice...
Call from Subi...nice always nice
Call from Monu when I was in the bathroom...and after I rushed out and took the cordless back with me she hangs up...hmmmmm not very nice
Call from Babai and Ma. Ma's operation scheduled next week...not very nice
Call from Putts...nice. Her asking me not to get irritated with my parents not very nice.. Not her that is. Me nasty me..not very nice
All the Facebook wishes...nice..predictable but nice
Sudipto's legitimate comment??? hmmmmm still has me thinking? How can any wish be illegitimate? There is no known law against wishing!
The card from Arijit...very nice. I know Shona bought it. So much more they mean to me your hunting out the right cards
Call from Babun and Tuhina..nice
Wishes from Debu...nice
Snowfall today hmmmm
Sun predicted this afternoon ...nice
Rolling off from Mississauga project...not very nice I liked this project but my work here is done
The sun is out now and someone left a box out there. I opened it to find a holiday gift hamper. No no Coach handbag Who has sent this? ...Nice

The day is half over. I have got myself in a better place now having walked out of the quiet place nobody wants me to be. Dont know how the rest of the day will unfold. I have got gift cards from Alice Fazooli,Old Navy and AMC Movies. Will be one of these..I suppose

For those who are wondering it really is no different from any other day. I do not feel any older..not even any wiser.

It has been a good life and all of you have helped make it so! So cheers! And thank you for being there when you were there

Thursday, November 03, 2011

...for oft when on my couch I lie

in vacant or in pensive mood..they flash upon my inward eye....

I was not just sharing poetry when I posted this on Facebook last year. I was sharing my mood.

Each Fall around November 1st...I get into this 'vacant and pensive mood' and walk down memory lane.

It's funny how a certain date floods you with memories of some framed pencilled sketches, a gray vest...a labor of love. Of someone who you thought the world of and who you thought thought the world of you. Strangers now in this over connected world. Strangers who could die and make no difference to the other.

And fill you with wonder. How transient the greatest moments of one's life can be.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

The truly creative mind...

The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create -- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off...
They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating
Pearl S Buck

This quotation is fading on my book of poetry

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Random Thoughts

What would thoughts read like if you could transcribe them verbatim as they occured?

Here are my thoughts from 5 pm today for about 30 minutes

Anu turned 21 today. Wonder how her day went. Wonder if they saw my message or wrote me off as forgetful as usual. I actually have thought about her a number of times today. Always I go back to that summer in Kota where the lady downstairs was commissioned to stitch baby clothes for Anu. Nadu's wish were the Jaipuri baby razaiis. everybody seemed to be having babies that year...and I doubted if I ever would have that pleasure. I think I landed in B'lore the day Anu was discharged. I remember letting her lick some honey. I do not really know if Anu has a sweet tongue. She does not talk much when I'm around. Only observes me probably wondering how her mom could be friends with me..If she doesn't it must be because I fed her honey. If she has, it must be the honey.

Gosh it is really hot today. Look at me...barely 26 degrees and I'm wilting like a pansy. Shame on you Indian! Wonder why pansies have such a connotation? They are pretty hardy flowers really...Its surprising how I've taken to wearing dresses on hot days. Stopped wearing them when my dad caught me snapping while decorating the front yard with rangoli. I thought I looked Mary Pintoish in that first dress. Heeheee Arijit's comment was so funny. Is that your new nightie? Its very smart...

Should I pick up a peonie for the garden? The flowering season's almost over. Oh there's one with a bloom still on...my garden is going the way my life is..with no certain plan, a scatter here and there. Its not really lack of time it is lack of creativity I think. The geraniums are doing well, the begonias are dying, the tomato plant is confused in the upside down container, still wants to grow the right way..Amazing how names have form now, Cyclamen, Forsythias, geraniums,lavender, tulips..

Arijit has watered the garden and is glowering at me now because I am watering it again...The garden looks like how one would look post operation when you ask for water and they wet your lips with ice! Leaving you wnating for more...I better get this down before my mind travels somewhere else