There is time yet to bloom

Today Arijit graduated from elementary to middle school.

We watched his face as names of his classmates were called out for different awards. His name was called out somewhere near the end and he looked surprised as he walked to receive his award.

My heart went out to my little boy. He has not had a cakewalk in elementary school. In a way, he failed to thrive here too at least in the way we Indian parents measure success.

From the time he was in pre-k, we were told he was very shy and reserved. From a vivacious and gregarious 2 year old, he suddenly turned inward one day, while he was performing something in front of relatives and said 'Lajja'. I have not been able to figure why. He had a turbulent kindergarten, with the class teacher picking on a 5 year old as if he were 10. The fact that I doid not meet her often like all the more available moms did not help. I did not start worrying till the first grade. When we were suddenly made aware that he needs help. And all because I never considered homework serious business in his earlier grades. I guess the damage was done. The boy was hyperactive and stayed at home all day with his grandparents. when his middle aged parents came back from work and took on the homework, tempers were at short fuse. If I were him, homework would be anathema for me too.

Then in third grade we moved to the US. Again, he went through untold humiliation in school. His shyness was mistaken for his inability to understand the English language and even though he passed his ESL test thrice, his teachers would not just get convinced much to the detriment of his self confidence.

His fourth grade was the worst. I got panic attacks everytime his teacher called, which was often. Unfortunately we believed in the system and not our little boy. We took him to doctors and even a psychiatrist who told us in no uncertain terms there was nothing wrong with our boy or his IQ. His teachers probably needed counselling. I became a pretty fierce defender after that, and Arijit always seemed surprised when I supported him.

This year my little flower has just begun to bloom. He believes he is going to become a famous cartoonist. He had a smoother year and had many friends and admirers. He wants to go out to play with friends now and goes off to birthday parties on his own. He has conquered some of his shyness with little help from any of us. We have not been protective parents; we have been pretty pushy and very judgemental too. Despite this, he has won.

I was a star performer in school, the brainy one. And I have both consciously and unconsiously wanted him to be that too. But what he is today is much better than what I was at his age. He is a much better human being. And have I not always said that matters most?

So what Arijit, if your ambition was to get the honor roll and you did not make it. You are a winner anyways and I am so proud of you.